Stuck in the past

It's been ages since I updated this blog. Even the christmas ornaments wallpaper remains half a year after the celebration. I like the wallpaper... maybe I'll change it after this year's christmas. Such a lazy bum. : D

Today I turn 24. Gee... I feel old. Felt like I haven't achieved much in life the way I wanted it to be a decade ago.

Back then, I wanted:

• To work as an executive in a company or to become a marine biologist. Oh, I've always wanted to become a journalist~! Totally random.  
• To travel the world and see other people's culture, architecture and art. Also to eat good food all around the world. 
• To cut off fat from waist, arm, leg, etc... 

Point #1, I'm not saying that I hate my job. It's just I never thought of becoming a teacher but now that I am, I can't lie and say that there are absolutely nothing about it that I like. Sure, we all have certain things in our job that we hate, right? Surely there are.

Point #2, Yes, I've been to other countries apart from home but I haven't gone to the places I really wanted like Japan, France (maybe watch Roland Garros? hohoho), Spain, New York, South Korea, London, etc... Relying on my current salary would mean I'd have to starve once I get there. Boo hoo...

Point #3, Ermm... let's not discuss this.

But I'm not a total wreck, I am thankful that I:

• Have a job to pay the bills and have fun (but not to travel! Maybe I'd have to sell my kidney just so I can get my bum to France like that kid in China who sold his kidney to buy an iPad). 
• Mostly, at 24, I'm grateful that I still have the love of my family and friends. 

p/s: last night I found out that my SPP interview is this Wednesday. Wow... what a great bday present. Just great. I haven't done my reading yet~! Grrr... 

Perfect Nightmare

I can't really recall my past nightmares but this morning's nightmare err, morningmare was very disturbing for me.

I've been having several bad dreams 3 nights in a row. Damn... that can't be good.

I may be traumatized by the colour blue after the dream.

The setting was in our previous home. A quarters where my dad used to work before he retired. The house was blue in colour.

I was there with two of my loved ones and apparently there's a zombie outbreak. The difference is, the zombies weren't trying to eat you, they were killing people by breaking their neck. I can actually hear the sounds of neck breaking. That's the most scary thing. Let's not call them zombie, call them the neck breakers.

I was wearing a blue shirt and one of my loved ones was also wearing a blue shirt. The three of us tried to run away from the zombies that got into our house when the two sacrifices their lives for me to survive. I can see it vividly how the zombie broke their neck as I ran. I was soooooo sad when the lifeless body of my loved ones fall to the ground, hearts not beating.

As I was running, the neck breakers were trying to catch me but they were too slow. If anyone knew me, they'll know that I'm not much of a runner. I was so scared for the neck breakers made eerie sounds like, "Errgh..." and "aaarrgh..." much like zombies.

Before they could catch up to me, I woke up with a jerk. As I woke up, I can't help but wonder about my loved ones. I wanted to call but the clock shows 4.40am.    

Anyway, my sister told me that when you have a bad dream, you should tell them to others so as to push all the bad luck away. Hohoho

Shuu bad luck, shuu~!

Please stop the night/morningmares... give me some happy dreams instead. : )

Of illusions and dreams

I’ve been having weird dreams lately. Peculiar than déjà vu huhu…

You see, my daily working routine is waking up at 5.40am to boil some water for my bath. Hey, the water is ice cold okay~! Then after turning the fire on, I’d stagger back to bed and try to sleep until my second alarm rings at 5.50am. That’s when my day truly starts.

Yesterday, I did the old routine of switching off my 5.40 am alarm and got up to turn the fire on the stove to boil a kettle of water. Then I returned to bed and napped, waiting for my second alarm to ring. Sounds normal, right? Right???

I jerked in bed and realized I was just dreaming. I laughed as I realized what had just happened. It totally got me confused at first. My socks were still on and my bedroom door was still closed, tell tale signs that I didn’t got up and turned on the stove.

Seconds of laughing at myself, my alarm rang. A very interesting way of waking up, I guess.   

Ain't it funny?

Coincidences.


It fascinates me sometimes.

In the morning, my friend told me about a room for rent in a house where a 40 year old lady teacher lives.

In the afternoon, my cousin told me about a room for rent where a 40 year old lady teacher lives. My cousin’s friend was living in the room but moved out because she was transferred to her hometown.

5 minutes later, I went to wash my car in a car wash place. I saw a lady about a couple of years older than me. I can tell she was a teacher. I dunno… you just have this instinct if you saw someone and can tell that they’re a teacher huhu anyway, she had one glance at me and asked, “Are you a teacher?” hehe I dunno whether I’m glad or not that she recognized me as a teacher too.

She then said, “Are you from KK?” I nodded and answered, “Yes” simultaneously.



“Are you Jessie’s cousin?” Everything clicked and we laughed.

What a small world. To meet her there was so amusing to me. We chatted till her car was ready. She said the house where the room is at is complete with tv, washing machine, icebox, etc… And how when she was posted here, she was given a school so far from town the phone reception is zero.

She cried for two weeks before she accepted her fate. I am fortunate enough to be posted near town.

This story will have a great ending if I end up living in the house where a 40 year old lady teacher lives. I can’t go there when my daddy and mummy have already bought me an icebox, rice cooker and a stove in KK.

“It’s a shame…” I said as I exited the car wash. Had my cousin told me about this yesterday, I would’ve gone to live with the 40 year old lady teacher.

Oh great… a cursed escaped my mouth as I switched on the wiper.

I suppose it’s just a coincidence that it rains just after my car is squeaky clean, eh?

360 degrees of fireworks.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone~! It's the year of the rabbit and guess who's born under this chinese zodiac? hohoho moi. Yours truly. Yeah you got the idea, it's me~! Huhuhu

I was at my aunty's house on CNY eve and at midnight, the sky was so beautiful~! If you look up the sky and turn 360 degrees, everything you see is fireworks hohoho I regretted not bringing a better camera. This is shot with my handphone.

My aunt's Chinese neighbour launched their firework and it was a first for me to watch fireworks directly below it. It was magical and my mouth just wouldn't shut as I gawked at the kaleidoscope of colors. 

I hope this year will be a year full of wealth, good health, harmony and love all around. For me and for you.

This is quite a special year for me because this year marks the first ever year of working. I found out that I'll be teaching in Tambunan, about 1 1/4 hour from Donggongon. Lots of people can get there in 1 hour but not me hahaha I'm such a slow driver.

I hope the school can be reached by Mr. Grey Myvi hohoho hope there's a phone line, electric and water. I'm demanding too much eh?

I'm eager to know where I'm posted at hohoho heard the letters will arrive this monday.

Happy CNY everyone~!

 

It's short~!

I've been having long hair for so long.

The reason I don't cut it shorter than my shoulder is because my hair is thick. I'm afraid it'll go berserk. Berserk as in it'll go really kembang. Think like a lion's mane. Hahaha

But after my sister cut her hair short, it looked nice. She has thick hair too, the only thing we have in common because we absolutely don't look alike~! Rest assure, we were not picked up from the drain or something. My sister looks like my mummy and I am a carbon copy of my daddy.

Because time is insanely ample these days thanks to me being not posted yet, I cut my own hair the other day. Not the whole thing, just my bangs (thank God~!)

Passpot photo hahaha complete with blue background. Heh, this one may look okay. Wait till you see the side view.

There it is~! I'm sorry the pictures aren't that good in quality. All of my pics in this post is taken from my phone camera. Bida betul rambut depan tu~!

 

At some point, I can see the resemblence between Abu Bakar Ellah and I wakakakakaka XD

Anyway, I decided to just cut my hair short to fo with the short bangs I marvelously created for myself. Went to a salloon in Tuaran because cutting hair in KK is soooooo pricey~!

Besides, I have a bad experience here in Donggongon. The guy looked professional but when he cut my hair, he used a flat iron (maybe because my hair is originally curly, he couldn't cut it evenly, but I don't know... I just ruined my bangs) AND my hair turned out butt ugly~! Damn that guy.

I wish I could hurt him with laser eyes.

Some hairstylists just don't get how to handle hair like mine. Another reason I don't fancy going to salloons. They just complaint that I've got really thick and curly hair and do a really bad job at it. They charge extra for that too~! I'd pay with a wide smile if they did a good job at it but sadly they don't.

A salloon in Tuaran knows how to handle my hair though... that's why I like it there. Well, I found out through Facebook that a schoolmate of mine opened a salloon in Tuaran but I couldn't find it so I just went to my regular salloon.

Freshly cut~! So short~!!! Hohoho

When I went out with Dudu to watch Gulliver's Travels last Monday. Short hair have a lot of perks... I use less shampoo and it dries faster huhu

I now have the greatest respect for barbers and hairstylists alike for your great talent of making people's hair pretty.

Happy New Year a day too late

Hi~!

Happy New Year 2011. The first few days of the year will be a bit confusing yeah? We'll be writing the year as 1.2.2010 because we're still used to writing 2010. Hohoho (Or is it just me?)

What's your new year resolution? Huuu.... This year I ain't got no resolution. I know myself very well that I won't keep it. Like last year, I said I wanted to save a lot of money off my allowance but naaaaah, I couldn't do it. Too much temptation and I'm so weak hahaha

Talking about money, tomorrow is the start of school and if my studies weren't complete yet, I'd be worrying over going to class tomorrow. But, if I'm still a student, I'd be looking forward to the semester allowance instead of now, jobless and moneyless. *sigh sigh*

2010 for me was enlightening.

I lived in an apartment with 5 other BFFs.

Celebrated all of our birthdays like this huhu

Went mandi sungai with them when our apartment had no water supply hoho

I have a car of my own~! Last month he was dented but recovered quickly~!

Went to the Philippines with my friends.

I like this~!

Busy and sick of doing my action research and finally presenting it in front of panels and audience. Was very scared.

I must've talked like a ghost is trying to catch me. I tend to speak really fast when I'm nervous huhu

Made a record of the worst gambling lost in my gambling history.


Finished my 5 1/2 years of degree. (But still have not been posted)

Was touched with my students who cried when my practical was over.

A pic Britney edited

Got better at baking thanks to my sister.


Finally swam without any help from anything or anyone~!

Got addicted to SHINee wahaha



I hope 2011 will be a good year for all of us. May the new year grace us with love, good health and wealth.

Butter Cake recipe (Requested by Ninang)

Baking cakes are fun~! This recipe is simple and it works.

Ingredients:

250g butter

1 ½ cup castor sugar (normal sugar is also ok)

4 eggs

4 cups of self-raising flour

1 cup of fresh milk

Vanilla essence

1/4 teaspoon of sodium bicarbonate

1/4 teaspoon of double raising powder

Filling (Whatever you want. Chocolate rice or choc chips, mix fruits, cherries, sultana,...)



How to:

1) Make sure butter is in room temperature (not too hard). Beat butter and sugar until fluffy.

2) Add egg one by one. (Put the first egg then beat. Put the second egg and then beat…you get the idea.)

3) Add vanilla essence (as much as you like. I always put 1 ½ teaspoon or more because I like the smell of vanilla)

4) 2 cups of self-raising flour and then fold using a metal spoon. Cease folding when flour is no longer visible. Do not over fold.

5) Add the fresh milk.

6) Add the remaining 2 cups of flour. Fold.

7) Add sodium bicarbonate and double raising powder. It’s ok if you don’t have any double raising powder (Put 1/2 teaspoon of sodium bicarbonate if you don't have double raising). The cake will still rise.

8) If you have some fillings, insert now and fold.

9) Heat the oven.

10) Bake at 170’ C for about 45 minutes.

11) Let me have a slice of your cake~!



P/S: If your filling is sweet, don't put in too much sugar. I like to put 1/2 to 3/4 cup of sugar depending on my filling. My sister once replaced fresh milk with susu cap junjung and she said it works just as well. I've never tried it though.

P/P/S: Good luck Ninang~!

P/P/P/S: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011~! May we all be blessed with good health, love and wealth~!

Baked a cake

Hohoho if you're not familiar with me, Angie is my first niece. She is my big brother's eldest child.

9 days ago, she turned 5.

Aton and Angie

Baked a cake for her~! My mum & sister thinks I've put too much sodium bicarbonate (self-raising powder) and that they can smell it in the cake but I smell nothing~! Huhuhu maybe my sense of smell is rotting.

Here she is helping me making the fondant.

Got tired and took an unexpected nap like this. She was really sleeping, I thought she was bluffing but bluff she didn't~!

The product~! Hohoho it looks messy. I feel sorry for Angie because she had to endure this creation as her birthday cake.

But she said she liked it very much~! : D ...and no, we're not Chinese haha Angie picked that red cheongsam herself.

Sister in-law, Aton, Angie, Big bro. The happy birthday headband was too small for his head wakaka

Birthday girl blowing out her candles~! ---and Aton having a fit beside her. He wants to blow the candles too.

... and so his mum had to light the candles again just so he can blow it out.

I absolutely salute parents~! Taking care of kids are not easy. Or perhaps I'm just not gifted in that area. I am always a bit kind to them, giving them what they want and let them have their way huhuhu that's one way to let your head get stomped by their little feet XD

Anyway, it's Christmas Eve~! Merry Christmas to everyone and don't forget to leave the cookies and milk beside your Christmas tree~! HO HO HO

2D vs 3D

Today, I'd like to giveout my thoughts about watching movies in 2D and 3D. It's just my opinion though huhu I might change my mind in coming years hohoho

Point #1 = Expectation

3D: When I want to watch movies in 3D, my mind plays scenes of that movie (from the trailer) in my head and I start to build a really high hope for that movie. Thinking off all that out-of-screen effects and when it's not up to my expectation, the movie will suck (for me).

2D: Nothing to expect unless friends or reviews says that it blows the mind away but it doesn't blow my mind. Get what I mean? Huhu

Point #2 = Price

3D: RM15 in GSC. No student price. There are student price in Growball though... RM13 per ticket. I guess the remaining RM2 is for buying soft drinks. I think for watching 3D movies, it's best to go to GSC because they have a far better popcorn than Growball. I'd like to call Growball's popcorns healthy popcorns. Very few hints of caramel, the rest is white popcorn.

2D: RM5 in Growball, if you have a student card. If not, RM7. I think it's RM8 in GSC, RM7 if you have a student card. RM5 is very affordable for a poor student like me huhu

Point #3 = Side effects

3D: Sometimes the glasses hurt the bridge of my nose.

2D: Sometimes if I'm unlucky, the seats are not stable (Growball, hear me out~! But they're changing their seats for all the halls there). Sometime this year, a friend of mine and I went to see a movie and the chair failed her not once but twice~! It was a midnight movie so not many people were there so she just quickly switch seats.

Point #4 = Satisfaction

3D: No effect at all (Airbender~!) or very few effects (Toy Story 3, Rapunzel). Airbender was very dissapointing. I was wondering why the heck does this 3D movie have subtitles. Gah, it turns out that only the subtitle have the 3D effect. It stood out. The action doesn't harbour any effect at all. All the time I was thinking, "RM15 all to waste. I could've watched 3 2D movies in Growball~!" For Toy Story 3, maybe we were sitting waaaaaaaaaay back (does the position of your seat affect the effects?) Rapunzel... I don't know but only the lantern scene was fantastic.

2D: I guess I didn't have to think of other factors like money and the satisfaction of out-of-screen effects and just sit back, relax and enjoy the story and scenes.

That's it~! I've ran out of points : p
Sometimes, when I watch something in 3D and my friends watched it in 2D, I will say the movie is not good but they'll say that it was great. Huhuhu sometimes I think 3D hinders my judgement of movies.

Since Airbender, I am very sceptical of watching 3D movies. Don't get me wrong, I think 3D is an excellent idea. Just... some of the movies are not worth the money to watch in 3D. By far my best 3D experience was Despicable Me. Hohoho

Now, who wants to belanja me Tron?   

Christmas is just around the corner~! Hohoho

I visit a lot of blogshops these days. I browse everything from dresses, shoes, accesories, gadgets and perfumes. Seriously you can get anything from the net.

When I hear about Christmas, automatically the spirit of giving will come to mind.

And now, Diva Darling is giving out 3 I-want-them items hoho

#1

Limited Edition Estee Lauder Pure Lip Gloss Set

#2

Limited Edition Bobbi Brown Crystal Eye Palette

#3

Crabtree & Evelyn Lavender Duo Gift Set

If you want to participate too, just go to http://www.diva-darling.com/2010/12/december-holiday-giveaway.html

It ends on the 31st of December 2010~! Go go go~!

My sweet cupcake is dented~!

When my mum brought my car back from Tuaran yesterday, I saw the dent and my eyes started to water. Grrr... my car is 1 month shy of a year old and this happened to it. I seriously wanted to strangle the perp.

T.T

T,T

There were scratches on the wind shield (front mirror) too~!
The thing is, my mum wasn't even following the lorry (it was carrying pvc pipes) from behind it. It happened in a roundabout. As the lorry passed, the rope securing the pipes broke and by the law of gravity, the pipes fell and hit my car.

 Damn.

Btw, I'm grateful that my mum is ok.

Sadly, my car was not so lucky. (T.T)

I was planning to drive to Keningau today (Farrah is getting married~!) but it looks like I have to settle with a bus ride.

p/s: The perp promised to pay for the repairing fees. I hope he's a man who keeps his promises.

No confidence at all~!

Yesterday at the ticketing booth in GSC.

Ticket girl: What movie?

Me: Rapunzel 3D.

Ticket girl: What time?

Me: Mmm... pukul lima. (5 o'clock)

Ticket girl: Please pick a seat.

Me: Aiya, mo penuh suda ni! Jadi mana ko mo duduk? (Shucks, it's almost full! So, where do you wanna seat?)

My sister: Mmm... 

Me: K8, K9 lah. (My sister & I was debating over where to sit and I decided to go ahead and pick the center seat but it was the 4th row from the screen. I like to sit in the middle~!)

Ticket girl: You don't want the side seats? (Pointing to the seats on the monitor, the side seats were a lot further from the screen)

Me: Tidak lah. Namau seat yang tepi punya. (No, I don't want the side seats.) 

We ended up buying those 2 seats. The perpetrator of my hurting neck~!

Anyway, the reason I brought these dialogue up is because,... *big sigh* I have no confidence speaking the English Language to people~!

Not to be all big headed or anything but I consider myself pretty good in the English Language. Never did I failed any English test or exam I took. I secretly would feel satisfied whenever I got the highest mark. I like the language but I just... I don't know, I get really shy when it comes to actually speaking the language.

Can you imagine how I feel when it's time for an oral exam? Huh, I didn't like it. Impromptu kills me. When you write, you pretty much think about it thoroughly and you can just erase it and make some new sentences but when it's impromptu,.. nothing is erasable.

There's this one time on the elevator at the mall that some guy wanted to strike a conversation with me and I just... nodded, smiled  and muttered something in return. Hahahaha That wasn't even a tall, handsome foreign guy but a random friendly uncle asking me where I'm headed and whether I'm doing my Christmas shopping. Gah~!

The reason that I can come up with is that I'm terrified of saying something wrong. Huhuhu pretty silly but I'm working on this.

I might be teaching English Language in school later. But surprising to me, when I was teaching EL in school for my practical, I can speak well and worry free ehehe maybe because they're kids. It's natural to feel superior over them.

I'm determined to correct this flaw. Hohoho I will do my best whenever someone talks to me in this language~! Just don't think too much Judith~!

When the hair on your back stands...

... ghosts are nearby~! People say that all the time. I just gave myself goosebumps huuu...

Now, I think I have never encountered paranormal things before. Except kena tindih. Ermm... I'm not sure how to translate this term to the English Language. Perhaps, the feeling of being pushed down by something.

'The Nightmare' by Henry Fuseli

I usually experience this before falling asleep. Suddenly my body defies me. I cannot move at will. I felt as if something heavy is on top of me and my fingers experience numbness (semut-semut). My eyes were shut though I feel like I can open them a little but I refuse for fear of seeing *things*. Huhuhu most of the time I would not hear anything during these few seconds or minutes but I recall a few times that I heard sinister laughs of a woman and there was another time that I heard church bells. The sinister laugh was very terrifying~!

People tell me that to fight these things, you just have to move your big toe. Virtually impossible for me huhu I always panic and never remember to do this.

Some say to not fight it. Quit trying to move or scream. I find that this works~! I just lay still and it will pass.
I've heard stories from my friends that they sometimes see what is pinning them down. Some see dark shadows pinning them. My sister said she saw two shadows, 1 was pinning her down and the other smaller one was watching on her side. It's like the bigger shadow was teaching the smaller shadow how to do it. Huhuhu pretty funny. One friend saw a big cat pinning her down and another friend saw a woman pinning him down. Pretty but scary at the same time.

Is this phenomena caused by paranorml activities? Science explained it as sleep paralysis.

Pic from http://www.flickr.com/photos/arambulo/2243056949/

This temporary paralysis might cause people to experience seeing things, hearing things and tactile(feeling as if pushed down, numbness on fingers). It may happen before you fall asleep or before waking up from sleep.

Yeah, I experienced those symptoms.

Things that can trigger sleep paralysis are:

1. Sleeping facing upwards or supine position for too long.

2. Irregular sleep clock

3. Sleep/rest deprivation

4. Too much stress. Money/family problems are some.

5. Extreme change in lifestyle. (You've been sitting inactive in your house for so long a time and then suddenly you go mountain climbing or doing something extreme)

6. Narcolepsy

7. A lucid dream that precedes the episode of being pinned down.

8. Excessive consumption of alcohol coupled with lack of adequate sleep.

My kena tindih episodes peaked in Keningau during my foundation year. When we moved to Gaya, there was one semester that I experienced it a lot, that was the third semester.

I don't drink and I'm not narcoleptic. So that leaves the other triggers. I don't sleep in the afternoon and I usually sleep at 1 in the morning and wake up at 6.30am to go to class. You can say I was deprived of sleep but it wasn't irregular because my sleeping time is always like that everyday.

In Keningau, I would often go out to play badminton, tennis or volleyball with my friends. So... maybe it's some sort of lifestyle change.

Yours truly in yellow with brown cap.

I always played defence in school and suddenly I realized I could shoot too huhuhu : )

I was definitely stressed because this was my first time living far away from home and I was quite taken aback at the amount of work to be done in college.

Upon my research of sleep paralysis, I found out that this happens all around the world. In north America, it is associated with the old hag.

In Africa, they call it devil on your back.

This topic really fascinates me, if you want to read more about folklores surrounding sleep paralysis, do read it here --> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

So, all in all, I like to say that this pinned down experience is of sleep paralysis because the thought of being pinned by *things* scares me more huhuhu

Sweet dreams~!